In drafting my new WIP, I already got hit with the feels. I try to tell myself this is a good sign because if my story is doing enough to elicit emotions from the dude writing it, knowing all it’s secrets and all, it seems like that would be a good sign. It happened while I fine-tuning the plotting later on and specific quotes from characters just manifested in my mind and seemed to be perfect for the moment. It’s such a wonderful and reassuring feeling to experience while writing. Now, I realize human are complex creatures that can feel emotions caused be any number factors or variables, or combinations of both, but I’ve noticed that when it happens, it’s usually when I am dialed in to my writing session and in a trance or flow state. My mind is a movie and I’m no longer see words on a page. It just really makes me feel like I’m doing something right.

Right around now, the negative part of my brain questions the thought process above and juxtaposes it against the lack of results I’ve experience to date in my querying my first book with literary agents. For whatever I felt so was doing right in my first story’s creation, no agent has ever responded to my queries with anything other than a polite decline. The most unfortunate part is all the moments that gave me the feels in my first book come from parts of the book that aren’t part of my submission package since most submission guidelines want some part of the early beginning of the book. I recognize now that my stories have to start off stronger to improve my chances when I query the book I’m currently drafting.

Separate of the issues identified above, there’s also a chance that I’m simply not compelling enough as a writer and the feels I get are simply my seeing my story with rose-tinted glasses. Who knows, it could ultimately be a combination of the two, or neither. Form rejections make it tough to gauge ways to improve my submission package. That being said, I do feel the more I query, the better I am getting at it. Hopefully, that will eventually pay off. We’ll see what happens, because I am sure as hell not giving up.